Many great minds have been quoted as saying that fixing yourself is an inside job. Yes, it is so true, but why?
Two words answer this question perfectly for so many of us: self sabotage.
Despite the best efforts of our doctors, family, friends, associates and the wonderful people who do not know us, but show us compassion nonetheless, we can not move forward in life, cannot feel better and cannot succeed if we are our own worst enemies.
In the more than 20 years that I have spent working with chronic pain and illness sufferers, I see self sabotage as a huge and virtually universal problem. This is the personality characteristic that stops most people from achieving everything they so desperately want in life:
Why bother, I am sick. I can’t do that, I am in pain. What is the point of trying? I am going to fail.
Just writing this is so sorrowful to me, because I see these types of pain in people every day as they make these hopeless visions become their bitter realities.
The medical journals are chock full of stories about people who simply died after giving up the will to live. Call this final resolution, if you will. However, why would anyone decide to give up?
People do not want to be negative. They do not want to be anxiety-ridden and prone to worry. People want acceptance, love, compassion and some semblance of satisfaction in life.
Why do so many of us get in our own way?
Fear, insecurity, poor self image, lack of confidence, lack of gratefulness, disconnect of body and mind, lack of self compassion and chronic fight, flight or freeze response are all factors that contribute to self sabotage.
These are the enemies that we face in life. They reside within.
The pain or illness we suffer may or may not be directly caused by psychoemotional factors, but our sufferings are certainly influenced to a large degree by psychoemotional factors. This is a ubiquitous truth of modern medical science and is undeniable.
Some of us might be able to find complete resolution of our health problems by using a combination of targeted physical, cognitive and emotional techniques that are all currently within reach. Others might still be sick or have pain, but will no longer be living life on any terms but their own. Positivity propagates itself, as does negativity. However, in order to achieve any great result,, we must start towards positive progress.
Stop negativity and stop self sabotage. Once you are working on your own team, instead of against yourself, you have embraced the process of coaching. Even if you can’t do it right now, I would love to show you exactly how to accomplish this vital task.
Are you on board?
Now is a great time to make some promises out loud, while making eye contact with yourself in the mirror. These include some of the very same promises that I make to my clients each day, as their coach. Let’s say these together and really contemplate the meaning, rather than just going through the motions:
I will not judge you.
I will support you.
I will advocate for you.
I will inspire you.
I will help you to achieve self sufficiency.
I will help you to help yourself.
I will provoke you in positive ways.
I will never give up on you.
I am ready to be open-minded and want to make positive changes in my life.
What if I told you that you can not fail? What would you try to accomplish?
Well, I am telling you that very truth. Failure is impossible, as long as you never give up on yourself and can personify courage to face the future with a smile, instead of a frown.
The most effective tool of coaching is goal setting and achievement. However, in order to succeed in this process, I remind you that it is not the goal that needs conquering; it is the fear of failure. It is the self. Those negative internal voices must be silenced in order to enjoy life.
I encourage you to conquer self-sabotage. If you can not be a positive force for yourself, then no one can. You must not be afraid of success. Do you need help? I would be honored to be the one to help get you on the right path.