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Stop Asking Why

May 31, 2018 by Chronic Pain Coach

stop asking whyToday’s lesson is to stop asking why. Just stop. You will never be able to answer the question and will suffer more by trying.

Why me? Why now? Why am I sick? Why do I have pain? Why, why, why?
Do you expect an answer? It is not coming. If you insist, then your answer is: “Because”.

We don’t know why certain things happen and we will never know. Pondering the reasons for things beyond our control is a fruitless effort. However, this is not the reason why we must stop asking “Why?”.

Asking the question, “Why?” assumes fairness and justice in the world. It assumes that all things are orderly and linked in some karmic way. We must be owed a good life without suffering and since it did not work out that way, there must be a reason why, right? If we suffer, it must be for a reason. Sure, in some cases, our own actions, or the actions of others, cause us pain and illness. However, these circumstances do not necessitate the questioning of “Why?” We clearly know why the consequences have befallen us. We wonder “Why?” when no obvious explanation is present for a happening, circumstance or malevolence which has befallen us. “Why me?”, “Why now?” or “Why did this have to happen?”

“Because”. This is the best answer you will receive, regardless of how long you wonder or work yourself into a depressed mess at your situation. The universe is telling you “Because”, so you had better listen…

Asking why is like spinning your wheels in place. You will never learn the answer to “Why?” and will spend valuable time and resources commiserating over the many possibilities that provide an imaginary self-derived answer inside your subconscious mind. These answers will likely take you to some dark places, both internally in thought and externally in action and intention. How will this gray cast help you or improve your lot in life? Is this added suffering what you really want?

Instead of wasting time on “Why”, try out some new and more productive question words:

“What?” What can I do to make my life better now that I am suffering? What can I do to put things right? What work do I need to invest to fix myself?

“How?” How can I reach the goals that I have set, despite my impediments? How can I live the best life possible? How can anything stop me if I try my best?

“Who?” Who is responsible for my life if not me? Who needs an answer to the question “Why?” when the answer is really quite irrelevant to my life? Who can help me if, I do not help myself?

“When?” When is the best time to stop asking why? Right now.

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